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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23590531">Seasick</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WanderingBandurria/pseuds/WanderingBandurria'>WanderingBandurria</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempt at Humor, Feelings Realization, Ficlet, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, It's just one swear word, Light-Hearted, M/M, Mild Language, Pre-Slash, Remus Lupin &amp; Lily Evans Potter Friendship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:27:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,357</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23590531</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WanderingBandurria/pseuds/WanderingBandurria</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus tells Lily how he feels about Sirius.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Remus Lupin &amp; Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Seasick</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remustrash/gifts">Remustrash</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is just a silly ficlet that hasn't much plot. I just wanted some Lily &amp; Remus (friendly) Love, because these two nerds have my heart.</p><p>Inspired by "Kill the director" - the original, the lovely version of NeveJenny, and all the TikTok’s Remus’ cosplayers that have done a delightful work with it.</p><p>Please note the tags - there's some past homophobic attitudes. They are referenced as problematic and in a context of social prejudice, but if you think it might affect you, please be careful.</p><p>This goes with all my love to the beta of this work, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remustrash/pseuds/Remustrash">Remustrash</a>, who's not only an amazing writer, but also a great beta and friend. Thank you for always helping me with my English! I know it's not much, but until I write something more that I'm proud of to gift you (and that I can keep as a secret without needing your amazing beta skills), this will have to do.</p><p>And with that, thank you so much for reading! please comment if you have the time. This might have a second part in the future with James &amp; Lily shenanigans, but until then, it's just a short snack. Please let me know what you think!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>---</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It was a Tuesday night and Lily was in the prefects' office when Remus ran into it, slamming the door behind himself. Lily jumped out of her seat, startled. He was panting, his eyes full of surprise - or maybe he was shocked.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you okay, Remus?" she asked, getting up, concerned.</p><p> </p><p>"Lily…" he managed, trying to compose himself. "Yeah, yeah, don't worry. Sorry for disturbing you."</p><p> </p><p>Lily frowned, sitting back slowly.</p><p> </p><p>"Should I be worried about where Potter, Black or Pettigrew might be right now, Remus?"</p><p> </p><p>All the colour seemed to leave Remus' face, but he hid it quickly by acting confused.</p><p> </p><p>"What? not that I know, Lily."</p><p> </p><p>Even he looked surprised by how natural the lie sounded. Lily suppressed the impulse to smile, so instead, she deepened her scowl.</p><p> </p><p>"So if they aren't up to something, why are you so nervous? and why are you here, instead of doing your rounds? you haven't come back this much earlier before. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I think you always complete your rounds," she joked, trying to calm her friend. "I'm actually quite sure that you make <em> detours </em> from your assigned corridors several nights a month, but as I don't have evidence, it's none of my business."</p><p> </p><p>Remus looked at her, his eyes inquisitive and his chest still heaving from running. He sat down in the chair next to Lily and suddenly melted. His head slumped forward, falling on the table, his arms, limp, fell on the side of his body, and a big sigh escaped his lips.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay, fuck it," he mumbled against the table, surprising Lily by swearing in front of her. He sat back up, trying to regain some dignity. "I'm losing it already, so I might as well tell someone, so here: I think I like Sirius. <em> Properly </em> like, Lily," his hands scratched the table, the only sign of his anxiety. His face remained with an amused expression, although Lily knew that it hid his feelings of self-depreciation. "Like all the girls that blush and giggle when he gets closer. And it's so stupid, Lily, because what am I, a stupid cliché? the starstruck - lovesick - hopeless friend that follows him around, am I? And I get it, I really get it, half of the students of Hogwarts feel dizzy every time he looks at them; it could happen to me too. It's more of his merit than it's my fault. But even then, ugh, why? why me? this is the worst soppy romance premise ever, I swear, only that in this case, it's hopeless. If this was a film, what would happen now, watch me pathetically weep around the corners of Hogwarts and drop my books every time he smiles at me? He smiles at me 20 times a day! Think of my books, Lily!"</p><p> </p><p><em> Okay</em>, Lily admonished herself, <em> keep it together, this is not the time to laugh at Remus for how much of Potter's and Black's histrionics have rubbed on him. </em> With a titanic effort, she managed to keep the laughter in, just before Remus turned his eyes to her, waiting for an answer, looking panicked, ashamed and like he was 11 again.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay, I'm sorry for rumbling and being so dramatic, I'm sure neither of us enjoyed that. Thank you for letting me take that out of my chest, Lily."</p><p> </p><p>Lily nodded. She and Remus had talked about Remus liking boys a few months ago during rounds. It was a bit hard for her to understand it at the beginning: Muggle prejudices to homosexuals were quite common, and even though it was more accepted in the wizarding world, it wasn't something people talked much about. She asked Remus if it was just a phase, if he had thought of trying with girls anyways and if he had... caught it from someone else. Remus had been so patient, teaching her about misconceptions and how it was for him. Since then, Lily had learned more about Remus' life and realized that it wasn't different because he was gay, but because of the discrimination.</p><p> </p><p>They had grown closer thanks to that. With time, Remus had started telling her about his dates, which made Lily laugh. Remus had great storytelling skills and always managed to make the dullest anecdote sound funny, fuelling them with sarcasm and jokes about himself. His "love life" was quite different from Lily's: he looked so measured and shy, but he was actually quite successful and experienced in the dating field. Well, they were more <em> hookups </em> than dates, or at least that was what she had gathered thus far by the way he joked about it. It had come to Lily's attention, though, that he prefered to keep them as a secret from The Marauders. Lily wasn't sure why at the beginning; she thought they would probably accept that he liked boys, since they were all "great social justice <em> vigilantes</em>," or so Black and Potter proclaimed. But maybe here, in this crush on Sirius, was the clue to the mystery.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay. So what made you realize it?" she asked, kindly.</p><p> </p><p>Remus bit his lip and shrugged slowly, playing with his school tie.</p><p> </p><p>"It was actually quite silly, Lily. I was doing my rounds, I promise you I was, when I ran into them. I didn't see them because... it was quite dark, so I stumbled into James' back and fell to the ground. And then Sirius came over and helped me stand up and said, er, 'Remus! we were looking for you' and then he gave me a chocolate biscuit and smiled at me. That was it. I couldn't even answer, I just panicked and ran away."</p><p> </p><p>"Well," Lily didn't manage to choke her laughter this time. "That was it? that was quite anti-climatic, Remus."</p><p> </p><p>"I know! but, well, he was there, smiling so softly at me, and I suddenly felt all the stupid things that people claim to feel: butterflies in my stomach, flush creeping up my neck, and everything going slow-motion and dream-like. I even felt like I was flying by only looking in his eyes, for fuck’s sake, Lily! It was like every piece fell into place at the same time and I realized that I might have fancied him for months. Maybe even years! Who's to know? Not me, apparently, since I'm an idiot that can't even rely on his own mind to tell him what he is feeling."</p><p> </p><p>Remus looked defeated. Lily just took his hand, squeezing it softly. She knew that Remus wouldn't listen right now to anything that she might say about Sirius possibly having feelings for him - Sirius had this soft smile that was reserved for Remus that Lily has learned to spot after Severus had pointed it out, trying to make fun of them. And during this year, she had caught Sirius' eyes following Remus’ movements when he stopped to talk with some boy without his friends. And not only at those moments he looked at Remus, but it seemed that Sirius' gaze was glued to Remus' back every time he turned away - well, maybe it wasn't his <em> back </em> that he looked at, she realized now.</p><p> </p><p><em> Give time, time </em> she told herself. The moment to talk Remus into taking a chance with Sirius would come.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, for what it’s worth, I would watch the two-hour film starring Remus Lupin weeping around the corners of Hogwarts. Even though I don't think it would have that much weeping. I think it would be an hour of you in the library reading and charming Madam Pince out of her socks; half an hour of you making hilarious sarcastic comments, twenty minutes explaining every bit of Defensive Magic to the most recent incompetent DADA teacher, and maybe, maybe five minutes of weeping. The last five minutes it's just you dancing, to have a comical relief. You know you're not good at it, love, I'm sorry," she added, raising her hand, like he was going to protest, which, of course, he wasn’t. "So it would be really, <em> really </em> fun to watch. Five stars material, Remus."</p><p> </p><p>Remus squeezed her hand back, shook his head, and laughed.</p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! Please leave me a comment if you want to!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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